The posting
ππ SCOTCH PLAINS, NJ: THE CRAYONS HAVE FORMED A GOVERNMENT AND IT IS GOING POORLY. ππ
Breaking updates from inside the situation:
ποΈ The crayons now have a cabinet. Blue is Secretary of Snacks. Nobody trusts Burnt Sienna. π¦ A rubber duck has applied for asylum. π§ A sentient cupcake is demanding a recount. π A chicken has been seen wearing a tiny tie. We have not asked questions.
The crayons have issued one final decree, and we quote: βBRING US A BEHAVIOR TECHNICIAN OR BRING US NOTHING.β π
That someone is YOU. π The vote was unanimous (the chicken abstained).
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πΈ THE MONEY PART (PLEASE LIE DOWN ON THE FLOOR) πΈ
$22-$30 AN HOUR!!!
Your wallet has left the building. ππ¨ Your bank account is doing cartwheels. π€Έ Your landlord just sent you a fruit basket. π§Ί Your couch: βAre we still friends?β ποΈ
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πΈ TOP-SECRET MISSION BRIEFING:
π Location: Scotch Plains, NJ (the crayons insist itβs βthe capitalβ) π Position: Behavior Technician / ABA Para β° Hours: After-school sessions π― Mission: 1-on-1 with an awesome kid, aka the best part of your day π Known side effects: Making a REAL difference
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β£οΈ OFFICIAL HAZMAT-LEVEL WARNING β£οΈ
Doctors are baffled. This job may cause: π Smiling so hard your face files a complaint π Spontaneous happy dances in public places ποΈ Screaming βAMAZING JOB!!!β at a block tower (it earned it) π² Taking board games so seriously a referee may be required π¦ Roaring at nothing. Just roaring. Totally normal. π«§ Sudden, lifelong loyalty to bubbles
Side effects are permanent. No refunds. The chicken has your information. π
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πͺ WHY YOUβLL LOVE IT (THE CRAYONS HAVE PREPARED A PRESENTATION)
β¨ Zero cubicles. Zero spreadsheets. Zero sad desk lunches. Zero βper my last email.β π§Έ Help a child learn, grow, and build awesome new skills π Do something that genuinely matters π Celebrate every tiny win like breaking news (interrupt the broadcast! a kid stacked three blocks!)
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π§ ARE YOU OUR PERSON? TAKE THE QUIZ.
π Love kids? INCREDIBLE. π Patient, dependable, and willing to learn? THE CRAYONS ARE WEEPING. π Have ABA experience or an RBT certification? BONUS POINTS. CONFETTI CANNON. FIREWORKS. A SMALL PARADE. ππ π Can make a ridiculous noise on command? Go ahead. Weβll wait. Youβre hired. π€ͺ
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β³ WEβRE FILLING THIS SPOT ASAP!
(Not panic mode. Not chaos mode. Not βthe chicken is in chargeβ mode. Just enthusiastic mode.) πͺπ
π£ DONβT JUST SCROLL PAST YOUR NEXT FAVORITE JOB. The crayons are watching. ποΈποΈ So is the chicken. π
π© MESSAGE ME TODAY and letβs see if youβre the missing piece of our puzzle! π§©
π SCOTCH PLAINS, LETβS FIND OUR PERSON! π
P.S. If you read this whole thing, youβve already passed the first interview. The chicken would like to schedule your second one. π ππ



