The posting
πͺοΈπ NEW PROVIDENCE, NJ 07504: WE HAVE LOST CONTROL OF THE SITUATION. ππͺοΈ
Here is what we know so far:
π¦ A raccoon in a tiny graduation cap is now βDirector of Operations.β π§ A cupcake filed a formal complaint. π¦ The rubber duck has been impeached. (Scandal. We donβt talk about it.) πͺ A chair has been elected to the school board. Nobody knows how.
The only person who can restore order is YOU. π
The raccoon has already put your name on a banner. It is spelled wrong. Weβre fixing it.
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π¨ NOW HIRING: BEHAVIOR TECHNICIAN / ABA PARA π¨
π New Providence, NJ 07504 πΈ $20-$30 PER HOUR!!! π― 1-on-1 with an incredible kiddo β° Part-time π RBT CERTIFICATION NOT REQUIRED!
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π§ͺ THE OFFICIAL SCIENTIFIC QUIZ (3 YES ANSWERS = YOUβRE IN)
π¦ Your energy level: βtoddler who just discovered stairsβ π² You have strong feelings about UNO and they are legally concerning π£ Youβve yelled βGOOD JOB!!!β and a dog filed a noise complaint π€ͺ You make random silly noises and have never once apologized π° You could turn a cardboard box into a castle, a spaceship, AND a courtroom π Your heart is big. Like, βneeds its own zip codeβ big.
RESULTS: You are chaotic in a deeply employable way. π
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πͺ THE ACTUAL JOB (WE PROMISE ITβS REAL)
Youβll work one-on-one with a child, building skills and confidence through play. Your day may include:
π¨ Coloring like the fate of the world depends on it π§© Games that secretly teach real-life skills (SHHH, the kids canβt know) π Celebrating tiny victories like the confetti cannon just went off π Supporting autistic children as they learn, grow, and thrive π¦Έ Becoming dangerously good at childrenβs games
Warning: You may develop an unexplained love of bubbles. π«§
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π° THE MONEY SECTION (PLEASE HOLD ONTO SOMETHING)
πΈ $20-$30/hour
Your wallet: βIβm scared to hope.β π³ Your bank account: βIs this real?β π₯Ή Your landlord: βOh, hello, friend!β π€ The raccoon: βI support this.β π¦
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π THE PERKS
β° Flexible part-time hours that work around school or another job π Awesome hands-on experience for Psych, Ed, SpEd & Speech students π€ Training and support included. No magic wand. No cape. No dinosaur rΓ©sumΓ©. π¦ π« Zero cubicles. Zero sad desk lunches. Zero spreadsheet despair.
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π¦ OUR IDEAL HUMAN:
β Patient and kind β Dependable (showing up is a superpower and we respect it π) β Energetic, playful, and responsible β Compassionate and willing to learn β Wants to make a real difference in a kidβs life
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π¨ NEW PROVIDENCE, THIS IS YOUR SIGN. π¨
It could be you. It could be your friend. It could be the person who just dropped their phone on their face reading this. π± We saw that. π
π Message or call us today!



