The posting
πͺοΈβ‘ MATAWAN, NJ 07747: THE SQUEAKY TOYS HAVE ACHIEVED SENTIENCE. β‘πͺοΈ
We donβt want to panic you, but a very large puppy has taken over the office. πΆ He has a clipboard. He has opinions. He has appointed himself Head of Hiring.
His first and only decision: YOU. π
We asked why. He squeaked. Weβre choosing to believe that means βsheβs perfect.β π§Έ
ββββββββββββββ
π§© NOW HIRING: Behavior Technician (BT) / RBT π§©
π Matawan, NJ 07747 πΈ $20-$30/HOUR!!! β° After-school & weekend hours π No RBT yet? WEβLL TRAIN YOU!
ββββββββββββββ
π¨ THE ENTRANCE EXAM (PENCILS NOT REQUIRED) π¨
πΆ Is your energy level βpuppy who just discovered squeaky toysβ? Yes? The puppy approves. π¦ Can you turn a matching game into an epic backyard safari? Bonus points if you can do the lion voice. β½ Do you cheer for a new word like itβs a 90th-minute game-winner? Slide on your knees. Weβll wait. π€ͺ Can you be completely goofy AND still keep your data sharp? The rarest superpower of all. π Is your heart the size of a small planet? The planet has been notified. π
3 YES answers = Youβre hired. 5 YES answers = The puppy cries tears of joy. π₯Ήπ
ββββββββββββββ
π° THE MONEY SECTION (PLEASE ANCHOR YOURSELF TO FURNITURE) π°
πΈ $20-$30 PER HOUR
Your bank account: βIs this a prank?β π³ Your wallet: βI have been waiting for this moment.β π₯Ή Your landlord: βCan I help you move your couch?β ποΈ The puppy: βSQUEAK.β πΆ
ββββββββββββββ
π WHATβS IN IT FOR YOU
β° Schedule that bends around your classes or busy life π Psych, SpEd, Speech & ABA students: your resume is about to glow in the dark π π Zero desk. Zero soul-crushing spreadsheets. Just high-fives, kinetic sand, bubbles & real breakthroughs π«§ π€ Top-tier BCBA support + paid training. You will never be left alone with the squeaky toy. π A job that feels like a passion project (because it is)
ββββββββββββββ
π¦Έ YOUR MISSION, SHOULD YOU CHOOSE TO ACCEPT IT:
π² Follow a kiddoβs lead and sneak learning into playtime π± Help autistic children unlock their full potential π Track data like a secret agent (goofy on the outside, sharp on the inside) π Be the highlight of a familyβs week
ββββββββββββββ
π¦ THE DREAM TECH IS:
β Fiercely patient and genuinely kind β Rock-solid reliable (showing up is a superpower π§±) β Bringing the hype to every single session π β Hungry to learn the science of behavior
ββββββββββββββ
π£ SOOOβ¦ WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?! π
The puppy is staring at the door. He has been staring for three hours. πͺπΆ
π DROP US A LINE! We canβt wait to chat!
π¨ MATAWAN, NJ: WE WANT YOU ON OUR SQUAD! π
P.S. The puppy has now learned to type. He wrote βAPPLY.β Thatβs all he wrote. Heβs very committed. πΎπ



